So, I have been told (again) to update; I don't really mind, since I'm bored at the moment.
Unfortunately I've nothing to say, so I'm going to be predictable and post some pseudo-blackmetal/Neo-paganistic poetry.
So, here's the poem: I'm going to make the title up right now, so it'll be subject to change.
-------------------------------
The Angelic
i'm reading to the sin's conclusion,
waiting for the rain to fall,
pacing across the frosted hallway
lamenting red life as the ashes fall
nightmares grinning like grim seduction
a fleeting glimpse of more,
like thrashing the beast in the rising tide
of lust and the scent of war
i'm dreaming of screams and chains of gold
prison bars virtue forged,
drinking bleeding sacrifice to the
reaping raping horde.
like lovers wrapped in perfect roses
taunting death with a poison kiss
a field of green and simple losses;
i'm just not drunk enough for this.
so on an innocent page with a childish grin
we're scrawling lullabies
singing of dark and the touch of the night
desperation's song of lies
it rings through empty marble halls
filled with whirling gears
iron cogs and the stains of time
sweat and blood and fear
i step onto the final stair
crawling blind to the end of night
the sin-song is over, i'm slinking away
so looking back with triumphant stare
I step into the waiting light.
-------------------------------
What do you think..?
And what does it mean..?
44 comments:
hah.. you've melded them all together! yay!
I'm not sure that the stanzas work together..but. we'll see.
"like lovers wrapped in perfect roses
taunting death with a poison kiss
a field of green and simple losses;
i'm just not drunk enough for this."
I like the last two lines .. well. the third line.i.. don't think the second line does anything. but. hmm.. i'm not actually really reading it[the whole thing] cos i did it last night. but meh
"so on an innocent page with a childish grin" i.hmm.. i'm not sure about the 'so'. it's .. not vague enough [can't believe i'm saying that to you]
and the last stanza;
"i step onto the final stair"
i'm not sure about the tense. Maybe you could play around a bit with that?
this is just me picking out the odd random thing, and i'm being kinda critical. but. maybe it'll help.
well i thought it worked well, and although i don't really like rhymes, it added to the mood in this poem. The rhyme kinda created this persistent rythmn, reminiscent of a furiously beating heart or marching soldiers, or something equally bad.
to me, it sounds to me like a very vivid dream, kind of a combination of all the fearful thoughts that plague the writer. it's a nightmare, but it's formed directly from reality.
so, what does it mean? well, if you're a freudian believer, it probably means you've got to face up to the problems in your life.
agree with julia complete-bubbly-malishious (i really should stop i know ><) and the rhyme gives it direction. the only line which was like woah! was 'im not drunk enough for this' or whatever it was. its a POPPY line
HAHA~! i have analysed this poem completely and grasped pretty much all concepts of it -gloat- =]
you missed a couple.. or at least, you didn't expand on what you'd figured out to give overall meanings. you know?
Oh, that reminds me; I'm thinking of changing the last line in the fourth stanza to "desperation's pleading cry"
what do you think..?
lol i still haven't read through the whole thing [only like 3 stanzas at a time, cos i like it better as two seperate poems and that random stanza.. the not drunk enough one]
and got my head around it.
I still don't like that fourth stanza. And i like the not drunk enough. But i'm not sure that that stanza adds anything to it.. it just. hmm.
This is like.. feeling-wise, not, whether it actually means anything.
Mind, it is 9am. So i'm not exactly thinking about it as much as i would be at say 11pm.
but yes. :)
^ my point made about not functioning as well at 9am XD
oh yeah. Explain to me how this is " pseudo-blackmetal/Neo-paganistic poetry"
pet, you talking to me?
when i said which..?
or witch...^^
how else are we meant to explain Ju's supernatural powers?
blaming it on black sorcery so we can burn her on a stake has been an age old tradition. XD
you hadn't realised that she's a goddess in human form?
it's fools like you that killed disco.
discos were awesome.
thanks eric.
The only thing that excites me here is the raping horde.
hmmmmmmmmm...
how came you to be here anonymous?
I feel like im surrounded by people made out of cheese... ><
natasha, lets be friends. coz that's exactly how i feel. it's like, by mistake i was walking through the woods one day, and i stumbled apon a mental assylum which i was utterly confused by.
therefore, i am not made out of cheese.
good on you :)
cheese is never good... me being a person who hates cheese anyway
"cheese is never good... me being a person who hates cheese anyway"
NATASHA!!!!! HOW COULD YOU SAY SUCH A THING!!
we must be proud of the cheesleyness. What the hell is up with the people not proud of the cheesley cheese?
SAVE THE CHEESE FROM THE MELTING DISEASE!!!!
you, kelda, are a frenchy! its so obvious from your adoration of cheese... CHEESE SUCKS SO MUCH THAT IT MIGHT AS WELL TASTE OF LOLLIPOP!
hahahaha i get it! that's funny
Mais si!!! J'adore le francais et le fromage aussi!!!!!!!
And cheese doesn't suck.
Nor does it bite.
But you can bite it[it doesn't mind] And it tastes good.
very good
bon appetit mes petits cheres
update -prod-
mmmaybe
what were you doing up at 1:13am?... tsk tsk
maybe I'll tell you when you're older, little girl.
-ahem-
update!
-magical powers-
maybe later..
pshhhhhh!
-stab-
Hej jeg er Kristine.
Jeg er Keldas bedste ven! haha, hun kan meget bedre lide mig end hun kan lide dig.
Jeg haaber du har en god dag, Peter. Gud vaere med dig.
Love from Kristine
PS: Kristine rules the world!
I think. That the Silly Peter Panda should update.
Because Kristine really will rule the world before you do if you don't.
xxx
gasp!
-spooky music-
ba ba baaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!
[i love the music on amelie. It's so dramatic and it's just like :O !!! -shocked and horrified!!!! and then something happens and it's all rather flabergasting really..
anyhu. UPDATE! yays i'm seeing you today XD]
"like lovers wrapped in perfect roses..."
i like it
moi aussi.
oh yeah. and in your previous post you said "...disproportionately silly, Y chromosome deficient segment of the population."
disproportionately silly. What's that supposed to mean? That we're more silly than not? or that compared to males such as your lovely self, we are far sillier? Because i disagree.
and omg. Jess Barnes is sooooo annoying.
no, I was simply implying that it seems impossible for such a large quantity of silliness to reside in such a diminutive vessel.
i'm a diminutive vessel now am i?
That's not very nice.
I always thought I meant more to you than a diminutive vessel.
-hysterical sobbing-
i'm so bored.
and there's no chocolate.
and Cate Emsley is standing behind me singing Chicago and it's weird [and quite bad] and at Davis's party she came up to me and was all 'i've always really liked you Kelda."
"...."
"you're a really nice person"
"..............erm.. thanks?"
And yeah. Now i'm scared that she's secretly lesbian and hitting on me.
but lets not go there.
and last time i thought someone was lesbian/bi and hitting on me they Were.
gah
I'm going to stop thinking about this now, and look at the emo photos i have on my phone instead.
mhmm.
good day mr owen.
muppet muppet! -love-
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